‘A Good Day is a Good Day, A Bad Day is a Good Story’ – Glennon Melton.
I’ve had many a bad day in my life.
You know the ones I mean. Those days where everything starts bad and gets worse.
You wake up to discover your alarm hasn’t gone off.
You groggily stumble into the bathroom to find you have run out of toothpaste and in your haste, smack your head off the door mirror.
You struggle to get dressed realising when you pull up your trousers you’ve put them on the wrong way… again.
You speed walk up the road in beautiful sunshine when all of a sudden, black clouds gather overhead, bringing with it a weathery apocalypse.
You have no coat, or umbrella, or sleeves.
You cross the road and step in a puddle the size of Brazil and deeper than the Pacific and completely ruin your (massively inappropriate for the rain) suede shoes.
You watch your bus pull up at your stop from 100 metres away, although it may as well be 100 miles, and despite deep down knowing that however fast you run you will never make it, you peg it towards your goal.
Your bus pulls away so you try to style it out but then you trip.
You ladder your tights and graze your knee.
You get up thoroughly embarrassed only to realise your bag has also flown to the ground, contents sprawled across the pavement and tampons gracefully rolling down the hill for the whole world to see.
You think to yourself ‘Stupid Gravity’. You glance down at your watch, thinking how could this day get any worse, to realise the screen has cracked, and it’s not even 8.30 in the morning!
Alright, so maybe this is a bit cheesy music video and you’re probably expecting Daniel Powter to wheel past playing a grand piano but you get the gist.
We’ve all had them. You work yourself up and then spend the rest of the day brooding about everything that happens however big (i.e. ‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHH a meteor is headed for earth. FML. This is the worst thing ever in the history of the world. Stupid fucking meteor. I never even liked earth anyway way. You rock-y bastard’) or small (i.e. ‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I dropped my pen. FML. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened in the history of the world. Stupid fucking pen. I never even liked you anyway. You pen-y bastard.’). Everything simply gets worse and worse, and worse and worse, until your vision is covered in a mist of black.
I think everyone can agree that on these shit days there is little to smile about, right? WRONG!
Now, with my new life philosophy, I look back on these days in a whole new light!
Don’t worry! And don’t stop reading!
I’m not about to preach to you some mindfulness preaching like how all I eat is Kale now which is feeding my brain so much that I know closely resemble Megamind or that this new yogarobics spin class I discovered releases so many endorphins that it is better than taking ecstasy or even that I found God on the backseat of my car next to a 2-month-old bag of Haribo (which to anyone who knows me could actually be feasibly true, my car is full of crap, loads of places for Jesus to hide). No, no no!
My Mantra is simple:
‘A Good Day is a Good Day,
A Bad Day is a Good Story’
That’s it. Simple.
They may be happy or sad memories. They may be filled with laughter or tears. They may be jam-packed days or a singular moment, but they are all stories waiting to be told.
So, roll up to witness the astonishingly absurd situations and ridiculous scenarios I seem to end up in, from bad dates to worse job interviews, sucky employees and crappy people.
Join me on a whirlwind adventure of my bad days that I have turned into good stories. And most of all, enjoy.
Illustration by Kirstie Notman – Illustrator & Artist